Finding the Right Person Requires Being the Right Person

Posted: August 20, 2013 in build up, Christ, Disciple, Discipleship, Family, Jesus, Marriage, Mentor, mentoring, Parenting, Relational

As many of you know, my oldest daughter Kayla married her High School sweetheart, Andrew, this month.  As we were all making preparations for the celebration, I reminisced about the time spent with Kayla talking about faith and love, as well as praying together for that perfect someone to come into her life.   But as I looked back at how everything unfolded over the years, I discovered a huge truth that I’d like to share this month!

I have often prayed for and with my girls in regards to their future husbands, and still do as Haley and Chloe grow up, but I realized this past week a subtle shift I had made in that prayer that I hadn’t even fully realized.

Like many parents, we pray for our kids to find the “right” person for them.  I have prayed for someone to come into their life that would share their convictions and faith and would complement their personalities.  My hope is always that faith will drive all of their relationships.

Sounds good, right?  We all want our kids to find the right person and live happily ever after, whatever that means, right?

During the time Lisa and I have been raising our girls, we have always tried to instill in them a love for God and a love for people.  We’ve consistently taught that loving and serving others is a privilege that God desires for His people.  It is a natural progression in each of our faith journeys to first develop a love for God, and then develop a love for the things that He loves—people!  In the progression of discipleship, we not only love God and people, we serve them as we grow in our faith and put our actions where God’s heart is as He shapes our hearts!  That is not only true in each of us as mature followers of Christ, it is crucial that we teach this to our kids as we are raising them to be a generation that has the potential to change the world for Christ!

In this growing period, I realized that we had also been preparing our girls to BE the “right” person for the kind of guy that we hope they will all meet—you know, the “right” guy.  So my prayer for us all is that we will be parents and grandparents that will raise up a generation of young people that will not only seek to find the “right” one, but will become the “right” one that will be discovered in God’s time!  And for those who are single, vow today to become the “right” person so that when God shows you your “right” person, you will recognize one another by the fruits of your faith and love!  Romans 12:1 & 2 will guide you!

right person

Andy Stanley puts it this way—”Are you who the person you are looking for is looking for?”  For more discipleship from Andy on this topic, visit  this link:  “Love, Sex and Dating”.


  1. boredlandia says:

    You nailed this by just writing the subject line! You need to be secure, confident, and in love with yourself before you can find a person to grow old with. You can easliy find the one when you’ve taken the time to find yourself. Marriage is supposed to be the ultimate vow to another human being, but what vows did you make to yourself first? Those will always matter most to keep your love strong among one another. Marriages these days get lost when the other one grows old, grows different, grows apart. Where were those talks before you were hitched?

    Congrats to the happy couple!


  2. […] Finding the Right Person Requires Being the Right Person. […]


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